Blakc Lick

I still hear their laughter
The sweet tinkling music of their voices
The last time I’d hear it before I went to work
Then the cold silence
Then her voice
Dolores how could I forget her
Forget the day she did it
The day I…
I came home to the summer house on Black Lick Lake
The sun was bright and welcoming
The grass and the flowers seem to have intensified in color
Since I left that morning
As I walked outside the warm sun bathing my face in the July heat
I noticed her on the swing humming pledge my love by Johnny Ace
Smiling to myself at what she was humming I approached
I still remember her look to this very day
She soft gleaming blonde hair her pale skin with bright red lips
But on that day her beautiful face was dripping wet
Why are you wet honey?
She wouldn’t answer
It was so quiet that day not even the birds chirped
Then I realized and asked where the children were?
She told me they were swimming
I looked to the pristine dark stillness of the lake
There was no one swimming
No movements at all
Then I saw them and my heart dropped
At first I walked trying to get my brain to work right
My eyes can’t possibly be true
When there was no more denying it I ran
My brown work shoes flew off I was taking off my tie
My shirt and jacket
I felt the sting of crab grass as I ran
But I didn’t care
All I knew is that I had to get to them
Then I dove
The icy water of Black Lick met my lungs
As I broke the surface I cough but I was still in motion
Making my way to them
My feet getting caught in the muck and weed
It was tiring but all I could think of was them
I had to get to them
As I finally reached them
I stared to sob
My little girl
My boys
My children
Our children…
All of them gone
Then… her voice again
“They’re happy now...we can be happy now”
A green wall of disgust stacked up inside me as I carried my children
Our children...
Back to shore
Each steep in the frigid water more tired then the last
But finally I reached shore
Laid them out in the grass
Hoping that the summers sun would warm them
Bring them back to me
Then shadows fell over them
She sat next to me a smiled
A truly radiant smile that went all the way to her eyes
The first time I’ve seen her truly smile in such a long time
My heart wept
Why is she smiling these are her children
Our children and their gone
She was making no sense
Telling me they could be our little dolls
Give them baths and dress them up
She spoke of taking them on a picnic this very afternoon
All I could say to her was “why” as I shook my head in disgust
How could she have did this
Why did I let her do this?
All those signs
The late nights, the crying the blood...
Why didn’t I do anything?
Now that it is too late
She grabbed my hand and smiled
Telling me everything was ok
That she saved their souls
All i could do was stare
She saved them!
There gone!
My children…
Our children
Gone
A wave of red icy pain snapped my anger into a fiery furry
I grabbed her shaking her asking once more
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHYY
Sobbing with all my worth
Begging her to bring them back
Though I knew she couldn’t
But still I shook her
Begging
Sobbing
Then I dropping her and sank to soft grassy earth and pulled out the gun
The 9 mm given to me by my papa before he died
Its silver barrel gleaming in the sun
The warm oak handle fit so well in my hand
I’ve never shot it before it was always loaded though
Always deadly
She looks at it and like rain on a window the smile runs down her face
I don’t know what to do
My hands are shaking more and more as the anger floods my body
I want to scream I want them back
My children
I calm
Our children
I know what to do
I point
I aim
Frozen icy fear radiates from her eyes
I can’t look
I shoot…
Bang...
O my children
My children
Only mine
Only...
Gone

Similes

As he talks i notice him more and more
His intelligence like a vast deep forest
His face a pristine river calming and cool
his self esteem a western tavern rowdy and confident
and compassion like a rope strong and keeps me tied to him

oxy moron

sitting on the stone thinking of the generous cruelty handed out
a helpful depression enters the mind awaking the soul
such a lovely crisis going on that we don't know how to handle it
the beautiful tyrant that's taking over has ruined everything
and i only have myself to blame

magnetic poetry

The universe to smoke
posion with translutent steel
two dark questions srround prisioners
like life more smiling

Poetic phrase generator

Dormant trees floated like prayers like frantic fish
slick and sleek stray shafts of light keep life from spilling
the ashes of youth crisp and shard drowned in rain
Swift and sweet catching more glitter for the fires gone grey
marbled words carved streamed edged into solid tree trunks
Stormy world the flowers fold and a star almost shines

The summer i was 15

Sweet youth and just figuring out life
Still have a touch of innocence
days laying on the board walk of Devo Beach
the endurance completion with my uncle
oh sweet victory and the spoils spent on ice cream
the dairy bar and its 24 flavors of soft serve
how the do it is still a mystery to me
the little old lady at Drost
giving me free sample so i would talk to her
The endless bike rides to and from town
down the bike path to territory unknown
the thrill of adventure from up north
and a life of possibilities seen though lakes pristine

As os this day of life...

I'm in pain i don't think Ive felt like this in a long time. My head feels like its trying to split open at the left temple and of course my headache is giving me nausea. but that's not even bad compared to how my ma is doing she will puke like 6 or 7 times a day and its really scary even tho i know that is what happens during chemo its still not the most great thing. I'm drawing ma a picture of two horse heads forming a heart with a lymphoma ribbon behind it it looks good i hope she likes it. i really don't get why i have to do this no one ever reads my stuff anyway. I'm going prom dress shopping tonight with my cousin patty I'm hoping to find a green dress in my size Ive wanted a green dress for 3 years but i can never find one in my size i guess that's the price of being fat lol but a nice darker green dress will look nice once i get my hair back to that deep red that i like. i cant believe how horrible i feel i really hope this goes away before i go to patty's just another week before spring break and it will be a break i need it too well so does my whole family but i was more lucky then them i almost feel bad for going but ma told not to and have fun. I worry constantly about her and at the moment I'm wondering why she need German chocolate cake frosting but o well ill get it for her anyway although i have it :/

Karma

Sitting by the window
Enjoying the warmth of the early spring weather
AFV is on but from the kitchen is something less amusing
A stifled sob and sniffling
I go to her and ask if she’s ok even though I know she’s not
And I was right
As she tells me what happening everything changes
My world all the sudden is turned upside down
I’m all the sudden faced with death and the unknown
So many questions fill my head
Then a realization
Karma
The thing that could of helped my ma
Was collected just last week
My donation…
Two weeks later she sits in the hospital
Awaiting a cure looking for hope
And I will be there
To make up for just 20 cents

Years After

I Walk into the Room and sense your presence
Then I spot you and seeing you sends a tidal wave of emotion almost a tsumini
Colors of anger sadness and glee fill my mind in burst of silence
And as the night moves on questions boil to the surface
The who’s what’s and whys swarming the room but none reach us
We stare into oblivion looking at everyone but each other
Although you are the only thing on my mind
Drifting about, we are aware
But completely unresponsive to the emotional tie between us
Connecting us to the shared memories of the past our hopes and dreams of tomorrow
We both wonder about each other lives
How we live how we’ve changed
Why have we changed?
Then we make eye contact
my heart races
we exchange Hi's
the tie is broken
and I leave thinking of you and the best years of our lives

Real Name poems

My real name is Jillian
yesterday my name was Crass culinary
Today my names is melody of silence
secretly i know my name is outspoken penitential
once my name was childless joy
forever in my heart i will be Lovers Vent


My name is Jillian
To others i am known as that one weird girl
To my family i am the one who does it all
To my par nets i am reach for the best
to me i am a mask of myself
Even now i am not fulfilled
Tomorrow i will be longing for the bell
Someday i may be me
But for now i just am

The falling girl responce

I think she just got killed shes so pure and innicoent but sh got killed what did she do what is the non white stuff on the bed her hair is like gold she feel after changing a bulb of hanging a poster mabey her bf broke up with her and she stood o her bed and fell backwards just to feel the rush and feel she stomach srop but her fasion sence is horid she is made on gold she crys tears of gold she is so pretty who hurt her why would she be hurt i hat this i feel wmotion for sum mosel i guess im more jeasus cause she is gold goldgoldogldogldogldogldogldogl yet i see red too like she was murdered then time froze but i dont think sheis sompletly froze my mind is going back to the rain tracks i could see her on the train tracks as she walks the rails teh metal of the rails turn gold i love the gold it makes it more shiny more non comerical idk what that means im hurngey she looks hungry too sh e just falls and sgets hurt and amkes gold tons of gold i bet she is used it scary how much power she has and yet getts married i dont kno why i did that iether i feel blank about ti she is just white and gold soooo gold i bearly see the whit i bet her eyes are gold she cries gold

The train tracks responce

It reminds me of the holacohst the lonesness of the tracjs the coldness of the snow the complete awrakardness of the color contrast didn mean to write that i meant to say that the train is how prisionrs are being trasported it kind of made me sad to remember things like that but it was powerdul and unique im trying to think of how to get my words out its lonely so lonely and there nothing on it just black and white just alone all i can think is anlone anlonealonealonealonealonealonea i need to think of somthing new its missing somthing like a girl sitting on the rtreacks or a person walking down it the picture was to bleak too ALONE!!! it so lonely i dont et why my moind is being strictly focused on the alone part but it is and i dont like it for sum reason im thinking about making the tracks read and the snow purple and i would like it more cause it was be more inviting but the picture was just so sad i didnt like it and im getting rathere bummed just thinking about what to wirte i feel like a zombie i can picture zombies walsking down the track town the town dragging thier feet donwthe abondoned rail road track ppl rrunning away to get no eatten im gonna fall alseep cause im so tired i would see a gilr laying to the tracks sleeping

Leaving

i cant wait to leave its amazing 13 years in this place and now i can finally go i really dont like it here i feel like an out cast and somewhat unloved i dont relate to too maany people in my senior class so its rather boring to me. when i leave i hope to learn moer culture meet new peple and experience new things i want to be excited but im also scared of being out of my comfront zone...idk what to write caue im thinking about leaving and i hate my school for tis cliqueness and how jugemental people are and how teachers pick favorates and dont notice me i feel so small in this small town i just wish i could do somthing not stupid to get people to notice me but it really dosent matter cause im leaving

Fruit Loops

Fruit loops...how i love them so their full of vitamins and minerals to keep in Strong in my bodily functions but also in my heart...with out my fruit loops idk how i would live i need the brightly multicolored pr essence in my life to fill me with fruity goodness my favorite part is the sweet crunch of the little o's as they melt in my moth into a yummy mush but yet...the sugar and calories in the fruit loops is so bad for in fat cell upon fat cell eating them up and the high fructose content is wreaking havoc on my blood sugar trying to kill me!! the sould be call fructose loops and the nasty artificial flavoring it makes me sick (cringes) part of a good balanced breakfast my foot! but it is just a cereal after all like most cereals there's the good and the bad there could be worse it makes me full so i really don't care.

Crystal

liked it. you told us though the poem exactually who u are and it made sence.
"i am like a wave beautiful but i have my moments where i crash" i like that line cause its a very good way of contrasting ur personality without making it seem random and unesscary

February 11, 2010 9:01 AM

Zachs comment

I posted to zachs poem it was sweet but it wont let me copy and paste it

Painted

I am a red skipping stone

Falling though the water

Each jump the sound of an A minor chord

I am the 27 renditions of dust in the wind

Each time more beautiful then the last

I am the useless of a pull out bed couch

I am the elegance of an eclair in the food world

I am the sweet chime of the piano

I am neither here nor there but in between

I am the comfort of the dark at night

I am the strong sequoia tree holding my ground

I am the versatile blue jean and the morphing caterpillar

I am the warm light of a single candle in the storm

I am the lone snowflake where the land is bare

The cotton wood see that drifts where it pleases

I am the blue flame of a drift wood fire

I am the lotto ticket

With one number off the winning number

I am the one who fears to be alone

I am the one with the painted smile

although my eyes scream

see me

-Jillian Elmhirst

odd words

Nouns

Zambia, Republic of Zambia, Northern Rhodesia (a republic in central Africa; formerly controlled by Great Britain and called Northern Rhodesia until it gained independence within the commonwealth in 1964)

Crestfishes are lampriform fishes in the family Lophotidae. They are elongate ribbon-like fishes, silver in color, found in deep tropical waters


subapparentness to not be seen by certain people.

sulphurousness of, relating to, or containing sulfur especially with a lower valence than sulfuric

Brecth German dramatist and poet who developed a style of epic theater (1898-1956)

Adjective

perispheric Exactly spherical; globular

superdiabolical having the qualities of a devil; devilish; fiendish; outrageously wicked

superdeclamatory merely oratorical or rhetorical

Aglisten refulgent; glistening

pseudoparasitic something that appears parasite like but isn't

Verbs

Stigmatizing to produce stigmata, marks, spots, or the like, on.

Cohere: to hold together firmly as parts of the same mass; broadly

calved to separate or break so that a part becomes detached

poniard to stab with a dagger with a usually slender blade of triangular or square cross section

parqueted to furnish with a floor of parquet

Fat is Not a Fairy Tale

Fat Is Not a Fairy Tale

Jane Yolen

I am thinking of a fairy tale,Cinder Elephant,Sleeping Tubby,Snow Weight,where the princess is notanorexic, wasp-waisted,flinging herself down the stairs.
I am thinking of a fairy tale,Hansel and Great,Repoundsel,Bounty and the Beast,where the beautyhas a pillowed breast,and fingers plump as sausage.
I am thinking of a fairy talethat is not yet written,for a teller not yet born,for a listener not yet conceived,for a world not yet won,where everything round is good:the sun, wheels, cookies, and the princess.

I love this poem for many reasons. one i can relate to it because I'm struggling with my own weight issue, two i am also annoyed about the fact that all fairy tales are about perfect little people yet the average person is not average. So yes it would be nice to have an average person fairy tale where their not all super pretty and perfect. i think it would help raise people self esteem

My life as of today 2/5/10

February5th 2010, interesting day, I'm extraordinarily mood and really don't feel like putting up with people. I hate my body therefore I'm on a diet. I'm really prod of myself because i ellipticaled (used the elliptical) for 15 Min's non stop burning 11.9 calories per minute i was so happy :). I cant wait for next week tho so i can go back to the water where i belong.

Today I'm going up to Indian river for a birthday party for my cousin Caleb. He is Turning two and i haven't seen him in person before because he's been in Germany since he was born so I'm really excited. its a five hour drive though so I'm not exactly looking forward to that but at least i get to be with my family. i think I'm gonna hang out with my cousin too we have a lot to talk about and i have a lot to explain so i hope this weekend goes well.

Blind

A notebook
A life in words
Tragic as it is he's hooked
Reading this life
Yet he is blind
A tragedy is right in front of him
Holding his hand
Hiding behind a false smile
But he won't see