Blakc Lick

I still hear their laughter
The sweet tinkling music of their voices
The last time I’d hear it before I went to work
Then the cold silence
Then her voice
Dolores how could I forget her
Forget the day she did it
The day I…
I came home to the summer house on Black Lick Lake
The sun was bright and welcoming
The grass and the flowers seem to have intensified in color
Since I left that morning
As I walked outside the warm sun bathing my face in the July heat
I noticed her on the swing humming pledge my love by Johnny Ace
Smiling to myself at what she was humming I approached
I still remember her look to this very day
She soft gleaming blonde hair her pale skin with bright red lips
But on that day her beautiful face was dripping wet
Why are you wet honey?
She wouldn’t answer
It was so quiet that day not even the birds chirped
Then I realized and asked where the children were?
She told me they were swimming
I looked to the pristine dark stillness of the lake
There was no one swimming
No movements at all
Then I saw them and my heart dropped
At first I walked trying to get my brain to work right
My eyes can’t possibly be true
When there was no more denying it I ran
My brown work shoes flew off I was taking off my tie
My shirt and jacket
I felt the sting of crab grass as I ran
But I didn’t care
All I knew is that I had to get to them
Then I dove
The icy water of Black Lick met my lungs
As I broke the surface I cough but I was still in motion
Making my way to them
My feet getting caught in the muck and weed
It was tiring but all I could think of was them
I had to get to them
As I finally reached them
I stared to sob
My little girl
My boys
My children
Our children…
All of them gone
Then… her voice again
“They’re happy now...we can be happy now”
A green wall of disgust stacked up inside me as I carried my children
Our children...
Back to shore
Each steep in the frigid water more tired then the last
But finally I reached shore
Laid them out in the grass
Hoping that the summers sun would warm them
Bring them back to me
Then shadows fell over them
She sat next to me a smiled
A truly radiant smile that went all the way to her eyes
The first time I’ve seen her truly smile in such a long time
My heart wept
Why is she smiling these are her children
Our children and their gone
She was making no sense
Telling me they could be our little dolls
Give them baths and dress them up
She spoke of taking them on a picnic this very afternoon
All I could say to her was “why” as I shook my head in disgust
How could she have did this
Why did I let her do this?
All those signs
The late nights, the crying the blood...
Why didn’t I do anything?
Now that it is too late
She grabbed my hand and smiled
Telling me everything was ok
That she saved their souls
All i could do was stare
She saved them!
There gone!
My children…
Our children
Gone
A wave of red icy pain snapped my anger into a fiery furry
I grabbed her shaking her asking once more
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHYY
Sobbing with all my worth
Begging her to bring them back
Though I knew she couldn’t
But still I shook her
Begging
Sobbing
Then I dropping her and sank to soft grassy earth and pulled out the gun
The 9 mm given to me by my papa before he died
Its silver barrel gleaming in the sun
The warm oak handle fit so well in my hand
I’ve never shot it before it was always loaded though
Always deadly
She looks at it and like rain on a window the smile runs down her face
I don’t know what to do
My hands are shaking more and more as the anger floods my body
I want to scream I want them back
My children
I calm
Our children
I know what to do
I point
I aim
Frozen icy fear radiates from her eyes
I can’t look
I shoot…
Bang...
O my children
My children
Only mine
Only...
Gone